Editors note:  Hillaree Merck came through my DONA International doula workshop earlier this year.  In this post she shares a bit of what led her to becoming a doula, and how her previous career supports her new role.  I’m excited to see Hillaree begin her doula career and offer support to local Tallahassee, Florida families.  She’s going to be a great doula!  On a side note, I’ve seen over and over the light bulb moment when people who have a background in social work or counseling realize the cross-over between their skill set and doula work.  Read on to learn more.  – Melissa

By: Hillaree Merck, Doula, pursuing certification with DONA International

Hillaree Merck, Doula

In a previous life, I was a social worker at an inpatient psychiatric facility, got my BSW and was hired on a couple months later. Working in mental health had been my passion for the better part of ten years and this new position was equal parts exciting and stressful. I worked closely with clients that were in crisis due to mental health disorders, trauma, and addictions. Mental health care is a broken system and I was devoted to being an advocate; this was my dream job and the ideal stepping stone to achieving my goals.

I forgot to mention one thing though, I was six months pregnant at the time I was hired. 

Before becoming a mother, I thought that I was going to be the working mom who was able to balance both a career and a family. Fast forward to a few months later, and I sat looking at my tiny newborn asleep in my arms, thinking to myself “how can I leave her?”  The career that I worked so hard to achieve and that I had such a passion for, suddenly didn’t seem as important anymore. I couldn’t even be in a different room from my new baby without having anxiety. There was just no way I could go back to working a traditional 9-5. Especially not in the environment of the psychiatric facility. Who would have thought my life would turn out this way?

After talking to my husband, we decided that I would stay home full time. The decision led me to a question that I kept asking myself, what do I do now?  I had a degree I was not going to use, a new baby (that I had a wealth of researched knowledge about) and all I had to show for my educational and career accomplishments was a degree and some student loans. The one thing that was decided was that I wasn’t going back to work full time.

Around the same time, I had a few local friends who also were pregnant,  so I surrounded myself with play dates. Over the course of the next few months I  had several other moms reach out to me to ask me questions about pregnancy and childbirth. I was talking about my labor story and my experiences almost everyday, it seemed. As I was engulfed in the pregnancy/childbirth/postpartum world I began to hear labor stories that included trauma and fear, and resulted in postpartum depression. Story after story of new moms feeling that they were not involved in the decision making process for their own births, so many women who felt a true lack of support.   After connecting with various pregnant women, I realized that there were great needs within our current and sometimes broken pregnancy/childbirth system.

THE SAME JUSTIFIED ANGER THAT MOTIVATED ME TO PURSUE SOCIAL WORK WAS RISING IN ME ONCE MORE.

“Why don’t you become a doula?”  I heard one day by a fellow new mom. This simple question led to a time of research on my own.  I talked to a local doula about her experiences, and she told me about DONA International.  In exploring the organization, I realized that the mission and values of DONA International spoke volumes to me.

The Quote “HOW WILL SHE REMEMBER THIS?”  BY PENNY SIMPKIN ECHOED IN MY MIND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

This was an organization I could stand with. 

Childbirth is one of life’s greatest experiences and that memory should not include trauma, fear, and disappointment. It should be filled with accomplishment, empowerment, and joy. Doulas stand in the gap for moms in labor and open doors of communication so that their voices are heard.

Doulas in the recent Tallahassee, Florida training workshop participate in a role-play activity.

All of this exploration brought me to this conclusion: my love for advocating for mental health translates seamlessly into doula work. In addition, the career affords me the ability to take as many or as few clients as I choose and still be able to stay home with my new baby. Next thing I knew, I found myself signed up for the DONA workshop. 

From the other doulas attending to the videos we watched, to the physical support techniques we learned, it was exactly where I needed to be. The similarities between my social work background and the doula profession are astonishing.

Emotional support, reflective listening, connecting with resources. As a social worker that was my job description, and now as a doula it remains the same.

Through working as a doula I can combine my passion of supporting people with my newfound devotion to childbirth. While I am still learning and in the process of becoming certified, I am confident this is what I am supposed to be doing.

Hillaree Merck, BSW is in the process of obtaining a DONA International birth doula certification. A former social worker, she has experience in counseling individuals and families in crisis. She has now turned her attention to working with mothers during pregnancy, labor and postpartum. A resident of Tallahassee, FL she can be found going for walks at local parks, sewing, or spending time with her husband and six month old daughter. Find Hillaree on Facebook at Rosehill Birth Services or on Doula Match. 

One of my childbirth education colleagues once stated a sentiment that went something like this: as many women as there are in the world, that’s how many different kinds of birth experiences there in the world.

Something about this statement really stuck with me as a young educator and over the years, I began to shift my thinking about what I believe makes for a really good birth experience into a place of admiration for the uniqueness of the individual birth experience. For example, some like yoga, while others like gym workouts, and others still prefer to not workout at all! Rather than put women in a “box” so to speak, I began to be intentional at looking at pregnant women as individuals, people who may or may not fit any kind of community or cultural norm surrounding their pregnancies.  This thought process then began to extend beyond pregnancy and birth; into infant feeding, parenting, education, family values..and on, and on, and on…

Recently, I’ve been looking at my work as a doula trainer in the same spirit. Just as there are many different birth experiences, so too are there many different kind of doula career experiences. From what led us to doula work, how we practice, where we attend births, who we receive our education from, and even what our circles of support look like- it’s all unique. No two doula journeys are exactly the same, and while there may be some similarities, at the end of the day, we’re all developing into the doulas that we are meant to be. My story is different than your story, and I feel empowered to make it what’s right for me!

To highlight our similarities and differences; our pathways that mirror one another, and our walks that seem completely opposite, we’re starting a series on The CCDS Voice Collective Blog named Doula Journeys: Challenges, Joys, Experiences.

Through this series, we’ll explore guest posts from doulas; stories about what brought them to doula work, their journey through education, and even their walk through the DONA International certification process. You’ll see some similarities, but mostly, I think you’ll see some uniqueness.

We’ll start the series with a beautiful post by CCDS doula, Emily Geyer on what brought her to doula work.   After that, Emily (and others) will take you on her journey through the first days of her life as a doula and share some of her experience about the certification process with DONA International.  

The goal for this series is to celebrate the fundamentals of our work, the essence of choice.  There is no one right way to birth. There is no one right way to doula. We have guidelines a “rule book” in our scope of practice and code of ethics, but in reality outside of that, we are all empowered to start, work, and succeed in our doula journeys as we see fit.

What works for one, may not work for another, and much like I tell my birthing moms, let’s find that pathway that works for YOU!

I hope you enjoy the series!

Always growing, ever learning, much loving,

Melissa Harley, CD/BDT(DONA), LCCE is a certified birth doula, approved birth doula trainer, and certified childbirth childbirth educator.  She is the owner of Capital City Doula Services (CCDS) and this blog.   While working as a doula led her to the childbirth profession, mentoring  families and professionals  is one of her greatest joys.  To contact Melissa, please visit our contact us page.