Doula Journeys: Challenges, Joys , Experiences

One of my childbirth education colleagues once stated a sentiment that went something like this: as many women as there are in the world, that’s how many different kinds of birth experiences there in the world.

Something about this statement really stuck with me as a young educator and over the years, I began to shift my thinking about what I believe makes for a really good birth experience into a Untitled design (15)place of admiration for the uniqueness of the individual birth experience. For example, some like yoga, while others like gym workouts, and others still prefer to not workout at all! Rather than put women in a “box” so to speak, I began to be intentional at looking at pregnant women as individuals, people who may or may not fit any kind of community or cultural norm surrounding their pregnancies.  This thought process then began to extend beyond pregnancy and birth; into infant feeding, parenting, education, family values..and on, and on, and on…

Recently, I’ve been looking at my work as a doula trainer in the same spirit. Just as there are many different birth experiences, so too are there many different kind of doula career experiences. From what led us to doula work, how we practice, where we attend births, who we receive our education from, and even what our circles of support look like- it’s all unique. No two doula journeys are exactly the same, and while there may be some similarities, at the end of the day, we’re all developing into the doulas that we are meant to be. My story is different than your story, and I feel empowered to make it what’s right for me!

To highlight our similarities and differences; our pathways that mirror one another, and our walks that seem completely opposite, we’re starting a series on The CCDS Voice Collective Blog named Doula Journeys: Challenges, Joys, Experiences.

Through this series, we’ll explore guest posts from doulas; stories about what brought them to doula work, their journey through education, and even their walk through the DONA International certification process. You’ll see some similarities, but mostly, I think you’ll see some uniqueness.

We’ll start the series with a beautiful post by CCDS doula, Emily Geyer on what brought her to doula work.   After that, Emily (and others) will take you on her journey through the first days of her life as a doula and share some of her experience about the certification process with DONA International.  

Untitled design (14)The goal for this series is to celebrate the fundamentals of our work, the essence of choice.  There is no one right way to birth. There is no one right way to doula. We have guidelines a “rule book” in our scope of practice and code of ethics, but in reality outside of that, we are all empowered to start, work, and succeed in our doula journeys as we see fit.

What works for one, may not work for another, and much like I tell my birthing moms, let’s find that pathway that works for YOU!

I hope you enjoy the series!

Always growing, ever learning, much loving,

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mhheadshotMelissa Harley, CD/BDT(DONA), LCCE is a certified birth doula, approved birth doula trainer, and certified childbirth childbirth educator.  She is the owner of Capital City Doula Services (CCDS) and this blog.   While working as a doula led her to the childbirth profession, mentoring  families and professionals  is one of her greatest joys.  To contact Melissa, please visit our contact us page.

DONA Intl 2016 Doula Trainers Retreat; Let there be CAKE!

By: Melissa Harley

Dona RetreatLate January was filled with fellow DONA International doula trainers at the 2016 DONA Trainers Retreat in Clearwater, Florida! And all I can say is, the last several weeks have filled my doula trainer cup! Almost 50 DONA trainers (both birth and postpartum) gathered to learn, grow, and support one another. From the late night pillow talk to the morning coffee chats, the relationships formed at this event were exceptional!  Collectively, we are an amazing bunch!

The event kicked off with a champagne reception to celebrate our first retreat, the work that we do, and each other! The feeling in the room was light and celebratory and many expressed joy and awe about being together.

Most meaningful to me during the first evening of the retreat was the big group circle time where we were able to come together and honor each other for all kinds of things- distance traveled, years training, leadership roles, and our roles within in this amazing organization.

During our circle time we were also able to hear from trainers as they shared a few heartfelt stories about our founders(Annie Kennedy, John Kennell(late) Marshall Klaus, Phyllis Klaus, and Penny Simkin)  from funny to inspiring, what a gift the founders have given to our profession by their vision, guidance, love and support!  It was really neat to see the different perspectives and hear from my colleagues as to how the founders touched their lives.   There was even a bit of levity as we heard not only touching stories about the impact of each founder, but also some fun tid bits about them as well! I’m always so impressed with the warmth and approach-ability of our founders, their teaching spirits and their humble quest for learning.

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Melissa Harley and fellow DONA Intl Trainer Wendy Scharp participating in the pushing position activity!

Day two was filled with speakers, conversation, collaboration, learning, and sharing. We started the day hearing from Patty Brennan, author of The Doula Business Guide, moved into Innovating Education with Sharon Muza and ended the day with Amy Gilliland’s workshop on curriculum writing for advanced doula workshops. As you can see in these photos, I had such fun with fellow trainer Wendy Scharp from Portland, Oregon as we went through Sharon’s activity on facilitating a learning activity around positions for pushing!

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Melissa Harley and Wendy Scharp, can you tell we’re having fun!

 

In-between speakers we had lots of casual conversation about our work as DONA International doula trainers, our organization, maternity care, and the work of the doula in today’s society.

Saturday afternoon brought on our celebratory CAKES! 5 decadent cakes were awaiting our break-time and they were delicious! If you know me, you know that I feel that EVERY celebration deserves CAKE! And we were celebrating, after all, we were celebrating being together, being trainers and BEING DONA! There were hugs, tears and of course lots of laughter! It was a wonderful way to take a moment and celebrate the great things happening with DONA International. Saturday was a great day, from learning as professionals to growing in relationship with one another, it was SO good!    I was even honored to sit on a panel among these skilled trainers to discuss how we mentor doulas beyond the workshop.

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DONA International Trainers Mentoring Panel- (left to right), Jesse Remer, Penny Lyon, Ann Pollack, Melissa Harley, Sheri Deveny

 The afternoon ended  with an opportunity for me to sit down and talk with our DONA International president- HeatherGail Lovejoy, and our founders (Annie, Penny, & Phyllis); where we were able to share a bit, and hear a bit. I’m calling it a Key Life Doula Moment as it was truly a precious conversation and I will hold it near and dear along my journey as part of the DONA International family. It was magical!

Day three met us with a wonderful breakfast spread and more conversation that led into our learning sessions with Jessica English and Kyndal May. The sessions were extremely educational and eye-opening. We were able to put some terms to trends we’re seeing in the doula world, and we were able to strategize ways to better communicate and to further the mission and vision of DONA International.

As the retreat came to an end, our founders, Annie Kennedy, Phyllis Klaus, and Penny Simkin shared a bit from their perspectives. Annie led us in a time of sharing of what was meaningful to us, Phyllis and Penny shared from their hearts, and at the end of it all, Penny herself declared 2016 “The year of the doula!” You can imagine the cheers in the room as we all agreed we ARE in an amazing place and headed into uncharted waters of more and more families receiving the support of a doula in birth and postpartum.
On a side note, after the closing of the retreat I got to do something really fun, take a selfie with one of my mentors, Penny Simkin. The last photo I have of Penny and I together would have been in 2007 just after she and Kathy McGrath led us through 4 days of how to become a DONA International trainer! It was a bit of a full circle moment as I was reflecting on my current involvement on our DONA International Board of Directors in the role of Marketing and Public Relations Director!

I was so deeply touched by the retreat, it was a lovely time of fellowship with other trainers and was exceedingly meaningful to see the leaders in our industry come together. The excitement in the room and on social media during and after the event was such a treat. As a member of the planning committee, hearing from others in attendance as to how the retreat spoke to them and helped them feel valued is such a gift. And, speaking of the committee, let me just say, they rock!  It was a successful event that would not have taken place without a tremendous amount of teamwork, and it was wonderful to watch it all come together!

All in all, I’m just in awe.   There are such great things in store for this organization, fellow members, doulas, and for families, and I can’t wait to see what 2016 has in store for us all.

My doula trainer spirit is refreshed and my cup filleth over, I am honored to walk in the midst of this moment. #weareDONA

Always growing, ever learning, much loving,

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New Blog, New Name!

How do you decide what to write for your FIRST blog post? You want it to be good, engaging, entertaining, AND educational. You want to set the tone for your new blog and you want to connect with your readership. I don’t know about you, but these are all things that have been running through my head  as I contemplated what to write about first.

Like many writers, or writers at heart, I have a running list of blog post ideas. I’ve been thinking about starting this blog for some time after all! So all week long I’ve been thinking, planning, STRESSING (can you relate?) about how to make my first post meaningful and important. We live in an era where everyone is an author. The internet has changed the landscape; social media has become one of our major news outlets, our magazines, an avenue for entertainment. In business, blogs are a useful and prevalent tool for increasing SEO, marketing, and overall web-presence.

But for me, it’s more about the connection. It’s communal, it’s about highlighting the awesome people that I live life with(in my house, and in this world). THIS blog will be more collective, it will be more collaborative, it will be different….I humbly hope.

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New Year, New Blog!

1Hello CCDS friends! I have some exciting news just in time for the New Year! For a while now, I’ve been pondering and planning to begin this blog, and today is the day to jump in! I’m really looking forward to sharing some thoughts, hearing from you, and learning and growing together over the next year through this new avenue. I hope this blog will be a resource for expectant parents AND to birth professionals.  I’m excited to write and share some my insight, but I’m even more excited to feature many of you, my ever talented parents, students, colleagues and friends!

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