Seven thousand and thirty.
7030. Seven ZERO THREE ZERO.
That’s an important number. The number of days my oldest child lived under my roof until he moved to his first college apartment just a few short weeks ago. Full disclosure, we are lucky to live in a city that has three great colleges, so he didn’t have to go far, he’s a 27-minute drive from home, to be exact.
But as you can imagine, this move has forced us to reflect back on the early days, months, and years of parenting.
As we were planning and packing and moving, my husband and I started to talk about what kinds of things our dear son would need in his first apartment. The essentials, clothes, bedding, towels, rugs, shower curtains, dishes, kitchenware, you name it, we collected it.
And then there was food.
At first, my husband was thinking that we would give our son his budget, and he’d buy his own groceries from the start…but…
Mamas like to feed their babies.
Most cherished photo of feeding my firstborn. (May 1999)
I shared with my partner of 20 years, that I had the desire to help our kiddo stock up before the big move (and give him the grocery money too). I spent the evening cooking freezer-friendly meals and making a list. By the next day, I had a dining room full of groceries before lunch hour (bought by none other than dad, himself).
You see, daddies want to feed their babies too.
Lunch date with our college-age son about two weeks after the big move.
It may seem like the idea of feeding a college-age student is way off from the idea of feeding an infant child, but at the end of the day, we want our offspring taken care of, no matter if they are a few hours old or senior citizens.
Did you see this news story for this year old mama who wanted to take care of her baby? She moved into the same retirement home as her 80-year-old son, so she could look after him. How heartwarming.
For many, it starts with pregnancy and birth…and it never goes away. For a lot of parents, especially in the early days, “taking care” of an infant is internally measured against the ability to successfully feed the baby. Time and time again, I see parents with feelings of accomplishment when their babies are well fed, and feelings of defeat when faced with feeding challenges. Mamas and daddies want to feed their babies.
Okay, so, what’s the connection here to our work as birth professionals?
Today, with great excitement, I want to discuss the recent accreditation of Tallahassee Memorial Hospital as a Baby-Friendly Hospital. What is the Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative (BFHI), and what does it mean, you ask?
It means a lot, a whole lot.
According to the Baby-Friendly website, “The BFHI assists hospitals in giving mothers the information, confidence, and skills necessary to successfully initiate and continue breastfeeding their babies or safely feed with formula, and gives special recognition to hospitals that have done so.”
As a labor doula, childbirth educator, and lactation counselor, I have been working with birthing families in this facility since 2003, and in that time I have seen a major shift in the way that providers care for new families.
From moving away from the newborn nursery (separating moms and babies for hours at a time), towards routine skin to skin after birth and “rooming in” to keep moms and babies together, (a Lamaze Healthy Birth Practice); we’ve seen a BIG change in policy and practice!
In becoming baby-friendly, facilities must educate, promote, and adhere to the Ten Steps of Successful Breastfeeding, AND agree to the International Code of Marketing Substitutes to Breast-Milk.
The Ten Steps are endorsed and promoted by maternal and child health authorities in the United States, including, the AAP, AAFP, ACNM, ACOG, The CDC, The Surgeon General and more. Adherence to the code of marketing is a big commitment, as it has a significant financial impact for hospitals.
Becoming baby-friendly is a commitment of time, resources, continuing education, and it’s an investment of MONEY. This investment will lead to more support to new families as they transition to parenthood.
Baby-Friendly hospitals support practices that are more, well, friendly {read: healthier} for babies.
The benefits of breastfeeding are well studied and documented. We know it’s healthy, safe, and has the potential to save lives. Take for instance the almost 20% lower rate of childhood leukemia for the baby who’s breastfed for six months, or the lower rate of sudden unexpected infant death (SUIDS, formerly SIDS) for the breastfed baby.
At the end of the day, the BFHI supports breastfeeding as well as a more family-centered approach to the transition to parenthood, which will absolutely lead toward better health for moms and babies. While breastfeeding support is a cornerstone of the BFHI, many other baby-friendly practices come along with it.
More skin to skin time, delayed cord separation, and delayed newborn bath are a few we see being implemented as standard care. It’s a mind-shift, from the days of checklists and getting things done quickly after a newborn arrives, to understanding the importance of The Magical Hour after birth, and honoring the transition a baby and family make from living in utero to in the world around us.
Baby-friendly accreditation is another step in the right direction and shows that our hospital has made great strides to shift with the times, and ultimately support better and better care for families.
The accreditation is something to be proud of, as it shows families and the birth community that the hospital is committed to healthy, safe, practices for new families.
Successful feeding is not only essential for a healthy baby, but for many, it makes a difference in the emotional health of the family.
I am grateful for those who made this shift happen. It means that we as a birthing community have an eye on the future, and in collaboration, we can make big changes for the betterment of maternal and infant health.
To the TMH lactation department, the nursing staff, the midwives, the doctors, and admins and others, thank you for your part in making birth better for families in Tallahassee.
Bravo.
Kudos.
you are making a difference for families in our community.
Well Done, My Friends.
Thank you.
And to my own college-age child now living on your own, wanna come over for dinner?
Always growing, ever learning, much loving,
Melissa Harley, AdvCD/BDT(DONA), CLC, LCCE, FACCE is an advanced certified birth doula, approved birth doula trainer, lactation counselor, and certified childbirth educator. She is the owner of Capital City Doula Services (CCDS) and this blog. While working as a doula led her to the childbirth profession, mentoring families and professionals is one of her greatest joys. To contact Melissa, please visit our contact us page.
doula trainings, you know that the cornerstone to much of what we teach about labor progression and comfort is movement and position changes for labor. I like to say, the more you move, the less you hurt, the quicker the baby comes out. The process of labor is so smart that the body intuitively signals the mother to move in ways that are beneficial to both labor progress and for pain management. It’s such an amazement to me that some moms often begin swaying side to side instinctually in pregnancy, and then in labor, and then continue to sway to soothe a newborn.
While I watched her intuitively follow her instincts and birth her new calf into the world, I was reminded of the normal, natural process that birth can be, and struck how the six healthy birth practices support a birth similar to Aprils. Prepared and supported but also with clinical care available as needed. A hands-off approach until something showed that it needed to be different- which thankfully, it never did.
when they need it. Sometimes it’s just a click or call away! New doulas can rest comfortably in the fact that there is no need to feel like the duckling in the road. Be confident in your skills and reach out for support as you continue on your journey.
Before becoming a mother, I thought that I was going to be the working mom who was able to balance both a career and a family. Fast forward to a few months later, and I sat looking at my tiny newborn asleep in my arms, thinking to myself “how can I leave her?” The career that I worked so hard to achieve and that I had such a passion for, suddenly didn’t seem as important anymore. I couldn’t even be in a different room from my new baby without having anxiety. There was just no way I could go back to working a traditional 9-5. Especially not in the environment of the psychiatric facility. Who would have thought my life would turn out this way?
Through working as a doula I can combine my passion of supporting people with my newfound devotion to childbirth. While I am still learning and in the process of becoming certified, I am confident this is what I am supposed to be doing.
They need to grab the chocolate that looks like the truffle and they need to break it open and see the truffley goodness inside, and they may not be able to fully do that as a shadow.
to find a paper planner that I could use as a place to also keep tasks on a weekly calendar. For the first time in a very long while, I gave up the convenience of digital planning and went back to the good ole faithful- pen and paper. After a lot of searching and exploring (thank you“plan with me” 
ow that we’re through that, I can feel the difference all-around! For my overall health, this year I commit to 1) exercising regularly, 2) eating well most of the time, and 3) protecting family time and weekends OFF. I might even read a book.
place of admiration for the uniqueness of the individual birth experience. For example, some like yoga, while others like gym workouts, and others still prefer to not workout at all! Rather than put women in a “box” so to speak, I began to be intentional at looking at pregnant women as individuals, people who may or may not fit any kind of community or cultural norm surrounding their pregnancies. This thought process then began to extend beyond pregnancy and birth; into infant feeding, parenting, education, family values..and on, and on, and on…
The goal for this series is to celebrate the fundamentals of our work, the essence of choice. There is no one right way to birth. There is no one right way to doula. We have guidelines a “rule book” in our 
Melissa Harley, CD/BDT(DONA), LCCE is a certified birth doula, approved birth doula trainer, and certified childbirth childbirth educator. She is the owner of Capital City Doula Services (CCDS) and this blog. While working as a doula led her to the childbirth profession, mentoring families and professionals is one of her greatest joys. To contact Melissa, please visit our 
Late January was filled with fellow DONA International doula trainers at the 2016 DONA Trainers Retreat in Clearwater, Florida! And all I can say is, the last several weeks have filled my doula trainer cup! Almost 50 DONA trainers (both birth and postpartum) gathered to learn, grow, and support one another. From the late night pillow talk to the morning coffee chats, the relationships formed at this event were exceptional! Collectively, we are an amazing bunch!
